Monday, February 06, 2006

Lisa Loeb's #1 Single

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to slam Lisa Loeb, I actually kind of like her. Granted, I can't name one song other than "Stay" and I have no idea what she's been doing for the past 10 years other than trying to snag a cable show. (Does anybody remember her Food Network show called Dweezil and Lisa? Apparently the network doesn't because there is no mention of it on their site.) VH1 has been airing "#1 Single", a new reality show where Lisa Loeb is desperately seeking "Mr. Right", or rather "Mr. Right Now I Want Babies". It's sad really. I mean, I've been out of the dating loop for a few years now but I was single until I was almost 29, so needless to say a few things she does makes me cringe. As in, I was a dating disaster but even I knew better than to do THAT. a few cases in point-
1.) Hello Kitty is not a guy magnet. Nor are all of the pretty pink appliances you have. I've yet to meet a man (gay OR straight) who thought Hello Kitty was "cute".
2.) When meeting a blind date at a friend's house, don't bypass the guy for the food during introductions. It's not a good omen.
3.) After two dates with a writer and seeing your names together on page six for his book release party, don't get bent and repeatedly say "we need to talk" throughout the whole event. To say the kiss-of-death phrase as you are standing in line to get your book signed is strange to say the least.
4.) Don't listen to your friend/sister or whoever they are. When a guy pays your $300 bill at the Container Store after you stood at the checkout not even making a move for your wallet, it's not because he's "generous" as they are telling you. It is because he wants poon tang and paying your bill is his quickest way of getting there. I admire you for paying him back.
5.) Ditch the furry woodland creature fashion theme and pigtails. You yourself said you are 37 years old. It is time. The pigtails are a little over the top and the wool skirt with deer on it and a peek-a-boo zipper window that reveals Snow White has got to go. I like it, too, but I wouldn't wear it in public.
Gawd, I could go on forever. I've tried to watch the show but it's getting more and more painful so I think I may have to stop. Good luck to her though. And to put yourself out there on national TV like that takes a lot of guts. I hope she finds what she's looking for.


Blogger Stephanie said...

OMG Amy you said poon tang!! AHHHH hahah hahahahahaaaa.
OKay.. back to real things... I really like her too for some odd reason. Althought I also couldn't name more of her songs. But I haven't watched the show. Now I'm glad I haven't. :)

Mon Feb 06, 11:34:00 AM EST  
Blogger elizabeth said...

i haven't watched the show either (its really the last thing i need...another friggin' reality show to lock me into. regardless if its good or not :)

Mon Feb 06, 04:27:00 PM EST  
Blogger Holly said...

But wait...
What if she makes all these changes and meets someone. They get married and she can pull it off for a while but really she's dying to wear some pigtails with Hello Kitty holders. Then she's miserable cause she wasn't herself to being with and maybe he can't deal with Hello Kitty pigtails...
Just a thought.

Mon Feb 06, 05:34:00 PM EST  
Blogger vintage lilac said...

I'm not saying she should change, I'm saying that maybe she should hold back just a wee bit. As in, gradually pulling out the Hello Kitty assecories instead of bombarding the guy with it on a first date. Or, not showing your love of food until after you've gotten the guy's name.

Hold on....are you talking from experience, Holly????

Mon Feb 06, 05:49:00 PM EST  
Blogger Andre said...

I bet Lisa Loeb has a nice poon tang.

Tue Feb 07, 12:18:00 PM EST  
Blogger Stephanie said...

I watched this today, it was very fun. I saw the 300 dollar container store episode :)

Sat Feb 11, 03:41:00 PM EST  

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