A Vacationer's Mecca

Some of you may know that the Superbowl is in Detroit this weekend. (I wouldn't have, except that I've been hearing about this one for years...) In honor of the event I would like to post the lyrics to a song I can't seem to get out of my head this week. It's called "Ode to Detroit" and was written by Wally Pleasant, A local, folksy, funny guy who played the college curcuit back in the day. Granted, this song was probably written over twenty years ago but I believe some of the same principles apply today.

Ode to Detroit by Wally Pleasant

Shoot someone and tell everyone you're from Detroit.
Steal a car and then tell them you're from Detroit.
Become addicted to a major narcotic and tell people you're from Detroit.
Join a street gang and act really idiotic, if you're from Detroit.

When the Tigers win the championship,
Pretend like it's really hip,
to get national media attention,
When you set a car on fire causing police intervention.

Rob from your neighbors and kill your friends, if you're from Detroit.
Receive public assistance and drive a Mercedes-Benz, if you're from Detroit.
Own a store that gets robbed four times a week, in Detroit.
And buy some crack cocaine right on the street, in Detroit.

Most people criticize it, and some people even eulogize it,
But the Mayor just gets really pissed,
And then he tells all the reporters "No problems exist".

Now I'd be shot and killed if I played this song in Detroit,
'Cause there's a City ordinance that says you gotta say nice things about Detroit.
But since I can't do that, I'm going to move away and be in route,
To a safer destination, like Beirut.

It's the most dangerous city in the universe.
If you drive into town, you'll probably leave in a hearse.
Or maybe get beat up by an angry mob, on national TV.

Each time I watch the local news,
I learn about kids killing each other for tennis shoes.
This makes me so depressed, that I decided to write this song as if I was on a quest.

I tell people that the place where I come from,
Is headed for oblivion.
And even though it's a nice city to write a song about,
Motown ----- is no town where I wanna live anymore.
No, no, no, no, no, no