Names That Could Possibly Pass For Cries Of Passion If Accidentally Yelled During Sex With Anyone Not So Named by Emily Lloyd

Taken from "Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney's Book of Lists". This book is killing me.
1.) Aaliyah
2.) Maura
3.) Ewan
4.) Osgood
5.) Deepak
6.) Uma
7.) Ja Rule
8.) Moe